The song Girls! Girls! Girls! by Emilie Autumn from her new album, Fight Like A Girl, makes me laugh. It's based on a section of her book The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls where the doctors are exploiting the inmates by creating a circus-like show for the general public to attend. Many of the puns, references, and double entendres are quite humorous, if dark.
Emilie Autumn: Girls! Girls! Girls!
Step right up!
We bring to you the finest entertainment.
And I am pleased to be your humble servant
Accept our hospitality
Indulge in abnormality
Step right up
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
I do this as a gift,
Not for employment
A portrait of insanity
Approach with your humanity
Come see our girls, crazy girls
if you're willing to be thrilled this is a hell of a ride
Those girls, crazy girls
They're hot!
They're nuts!
They're suicidal
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
And they're half price after 4 o'Clock so toss us a dime
to see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
come see the girls, girls, girls
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see
And some are truly hideous, and I'm sure that you'll agree
While others still look quite a lot like you and me
Don't let them fool you, just one more rule
Don't you look that one too long in the eye
That one, let's just keep walking by
These ain't no ordinary girls
And we've a steady supply
So grab another cup of tea
And follow me!
To see those girls, crazy girls
if you're willing to be thrilled this is a hell of a ride
Those girls, crazy girls
They're hot!
They're nuts!
They're suicidal
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
And they're half price after 4 o'Clock so toss us a dime
to see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
come see the girls, girls, girls
Now has anybody any clever questions for your guide?
For a penny more, go in and ask
We've nothing here to hide!
(All talk at once)
Pipe down, now you sir
"If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,
and no one's doubting that, for it's a scientific fact!
Then, according to the medics
Have they faultier genetics?
Are they born with this disease
Or is it something they contract?"
It's all to do with reproductive organs
which are naturally unstable in a dame
You see, from lunar, we have lunacy, a lunatic and loony
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moon(y)
"I have a question!
Has any patient ever been released?
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior were decreased?"
For the good of our society
They aren't to reproduce
So while they may pretend propriety
We'll never let 'em loose
Come see our girls, crazy girls
if you're willing to be thrilled this is a hell of a ride
Those girls, crazy girls
"We're hot" They're hot!
"We're nuts" They're nuts!
They're suicidal
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
And they're half price after 4 o'Clock so toss us a dime
to see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
come see the girls, girls, girls
Some are born mad
some achieve madness
and some have madness thrust upon 'em
This is the real thing, my friends
one hundred percent authentic mentally ill!
Accept NO substitutions!
For a little extra on the side
We can arrange for a slightly more intimate encounter *wink wink*
For a tuppence, just a tuppence!
A handful of pills to feed the inmates
We've got pills for depression, agression, repression, obsession, manic depression...
Things that rhyme with “ession”
There’s a pill for everything these days!
"How big is a ladies brain?"
They're really very, very small
A simple thought is quite a strain
"This seems just a bit inhumane"
It's just a simple little shock
It wouldn't cause her any pain
They're really more like animals than people
Some say they haven't any souls at all
The only bits that aren't inferior
Are bosom and posterior
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
They won't bite
Well, she might
I say, this one does look hungry tonight
So get your picture with an inmate
But be sure she's locked up tight
They're practically wild, sir
Protect your child, sir
They can't recall the taste of freedom
They're just happy if we feed 'em
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
They oughtn't mind, because they're mad
If you haven't got a dime
Toss us your pearls
You're welcome to enjoy our girls, crazy girls
if you're willing to be thrilled this is a hell of a ride
Those girls, crazy girls
"We're hot" They're hot!
"We're nuts" They're nuts!
They're suicidal
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
And they're half price after 4 o'Clock so toss us a dime
to see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
I've got a lot more words to say but I just can't make it rhyme
So ladies, let this be a lesson to keep your hair uncut,
Your corsets tight
Your morals high
Your knitting neat,
Your yappers SHUT!
This is what comes from over-educating
Mentally over-stimulating
Too much serious conversating
Organised religion hating
Sinful over copulating
Marriage without procreating
Girl on girl caught lesbiating
She was caught while masturbating
Male mind manipulating
Chronically hallucinating
Certainly there's no debating
Some, we just find fascinating
Women’s rights facilitating
Independent thought creating
This may just be complicating
Get your money out, we're waiting
To see those girls, girls, girls
***
Another song I am madly in love with is Elephant Elephant by the band Evelyn Evelyn (a brainchild of Amanda Palmer).
Just listen to it. Did you smile? I bet you did.
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